


Everything Has Changed

by serohtonin



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 11:50:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serohtonin/pseuds/serohtonin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris meets an attractive street musician/aspiring actor who turns his personal life, and his work life, upside down. Alternate meeting AU, set during season two of Glee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything Has Changed

**Author's Note:**

> Written as part of the [Crisscolfer Big Bang](http://http://crisscolferbigbang.tumblr.com/). Art for this fic is [here](http://lokicorey.tumblr.com/post/73973997018/for-somethingdarrenish)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't claim this to be real, except for the canon of Glee.
> 
> A/N: Yes, the title comes from the Taylor Swift song of the same name. Sigh.

__

_August 2010_

"Ooh, this looks nice." 

Chris' eyes linger over the blue-gray material hanging around the mannequin's neck.

"Please, Colfer, like you need a new scarf," Ashley scoffs without glancing over from where she's skimming through a rack of clothing at their favorite store at Santa Monica's Third Street Promenade.

After Chris' recent string of failed dates, and Ashley lamenting her seemingly eternal single status, they decided on a trip away from L.A. for some much needed retail therapy.

He shoots a glare at her. "I _always_ need a new scarf, Ash."

Ashley's suddenly next to him, running her fingers over the scarf. "Hmm, it does match your eyes, and you can afford it now, you big TV star."

"I'm not quite a star yet. I'm just lucky the show got picked up for a second season, and that I still have a job."

"That's true. I'd like to have a steadier paycheck, and a steady man," she sighs.

"Hey," he nudges her shoulder, "no moping on this trip, and no mentioning men, please."

"Sorry, babe." She quickly changes the subject, motioning to the dark denim jeans and sparkly blouse in her hand. "I don't care if my wallet hates me. I'm totally getting these jeans, and this shirt. They show off all my best assets."

Chris eyes the items and surveys her. "Yeah," he shrugs, "I guess they'd look good on you, but your best assets have nothing to do with fashion or how you look."

"Why are we shopping, then? Clothes are what get you noticed."

"I just wanted to compliment you. That's all," Chris smiles.

"Oh, well, thanks," she smiles back.

They pay for their purchases; Chris ends up with the scarf he was looking at, plus a couple of other ones, and a t-shirt.

They walk down the boulevard, wondering where they'll get lunch, when they notice a small crowd gathering around what sounds like a man singing.

The voice is clear, loud, and enthusiastic.

_"Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who has everything?"_

Chris stops in contemplation.

Is that a guy's voice? It sounds like a guy's voice, singing a Disney song that's clearly meant for a more feminine voice.

Ashley stops next to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I think. It's just, that guy sounds really good."

Ashley listens along with him. "Yeah, he kinda does. Wanna go watch?"

"Sure. We can hold off on lunch for a bit," he answers, though his stomach grumbles in protest.

They push to the front and catch sight of a man strumming a guitar, the instrument's case open next to him with a few dollars strewn about inside of it.

The man is slightly shorter than Chris, his hazel eyes sparkling as he sings. His fingers move skillfully over the guitar, like he's been doing it for years, and his face contorts strangely over each line.

Chris is drawn in by how the man seems to feel the lyrics as if they matter to him, even if it's literally about a fish out of water.

He gets the audience to participate, and grins over, _"what's that word again, streeeet? Up where they walk, up where they run..."_

Chris stands there, trying to get his feet to move so he can pay the man for his efforts, but he's frozen in place.

He thinks Ashley's talking to him, but he can't bring himself to focus on what she's saying.

Despite the ridiculous pink sunglasses perched on the man's head, he radiates something that makes Chris unable to hear or see much else. He can't describe it in any tangible way, except that he craves more, and kind of wants to run his fingers through the man's dark, wild curls.

The last thought courses through him, quick and intense, like a flash of lightning, except the feeling lingers.

Chris digs his hand into his pocket, daring himself to move forward, and then, finally pulls some cash out to toss into the case.

Soon after, the song changes to something familiar, but it sounds a little slower and more folky than the original.

The man closes his eyes and begins to sing softly:

_"You think I'm pretty without any makeup on, you think I'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong..."_

The performer opens his eyes, Chris even more stunned by how brilliant they are up close.

_"I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down..."_

His falsetto emerges on that last word, as his gaze catches Chris'.

Chris' heart quickens in his chest, warm whiskey eyes settling over his frame on, _"You brought me to life."_

The man's eyes stay locked on him, his voice tender but growing louder as he continues:

_"Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love. We can dance until we die..."_

Chris can't tell whether this man is just choosing him from the crowd because it's more romantic that way, or if he's genuinely interested.

Surely, it's the former.

Then, the singer winks and smirks at, _"the way you turn me on,"_ and Chris feels even more lost.

The man keeps smiling, though, and it's so contagious that Chris can't help smiling back.

Chris mouths the words along with him, a weird connection blooming between them by the song's end.

Chris forces himself to snap out of it once the beat stops, because now the man's speaking.

"My name's Darren. Thanks for listening. I appreciate the support of each and every one of you so much, and if you didn't listen at all, I'll be out of your hair now, so, bye! Enjoy the rest of your day!"

He concludes on mild applause, Chris still standing there and clapping along with everyone else.

The man, Darren, sets down his guitar and gathers as much money as he can from the case.

Chris startles when Darren looks up at him.

"Are you just gonna stand there and watch me, or are you gonna introduce yourself?" Darren chuckles.

"Oh, um, sorry. I'm Chris."

He places his guitar in the case and hoists it onto his back. "Darren," he offers his hand.

Chris takes it. "You're really talented. Why are you playing _here,_ of all places?"

"Thanks," Darren looks down at their still-joined hands, a small grin forming on his face that Chris kind of wants to see more often. Then, he pulls away. "I really need the money. There's usually a good crowd here. Case in point," he gestures to Chris.

"Thank you. It was nice to hear someone do something different with that song. Honestly, the way you transformed it made me want to sing along. Er, lip sync, actually. I'm not much of a singer."

"Don't listen to him. It's all lies," Ashley pipes up from right next to him. "He's a great singer."

"I try," he side eyes her. "My voice is rather unique, as you can probably hear."

"Huh," Darren's eyes flit back and forth between the two, then quickly focus on Chris. "'I'd like to hear it some time." His tongue darts out from between his lips briefly, and Chris swears that Darren's eyes darken a bit. Then, it's gone in a flash as Darren turns toward Ashley, greeting her with an outstretched hand and a bright smile.

"Darren."

"Ashley. Was I interrupting something?"

"Kind of," Darren answers while Chris simultaneously supplies, "No, not at all."

Chris glances away for a second. "We were just chatting, Ash."

"I wouldn't mind continuing it over coffee, or drinks, maybe?"

"Oh, I don't drink," Chris quickly recovers, not wanting to reveal that he's only twenty years old.

Darren leans in close and lowers his voice. "It can be fun. Maybe I can show you what you're missing out on some time."

Chris shivers when Darren's breath hits his skin. "Maybe," he remarks shyly.

"Guess I am interrupting something," Ashley chimes.

"Can I walk you to your car?" Darren asks.

"Yeah, sure," Chris answers.

"I'll go get a smoothie." Ashley spins on her heel in the opposite direction.

"Your friend's cute," Darren whispers when he and Chris begin to walk side by side.

"Oh, I guess," Chris shrugs.

"You're cuter, though."

Chris bites his lip, debating how to respond. "Um, thanks?"

"That's all I get? _'Thanks?'"_ Darren teases.

"What else do you want me to say?"

"How about, 'Gee, Darren, you're not half-bad yourself'? That'd be a start."

Chris spares a glance at him, those beautiful eyes now hidden from the dwindling summer sun by his pink-rimmed sunglasses.

"Wow," Chris scoffs, "you're awfully presumptuous."

"I prefer being honest. I'd like to know if my efforts are warranted."

"You mean, do I think you're attractive?" Chris raises an eyebrow at him as they reach the parking lot.

Darren nods. "Uh huh."

He pretends to think for a moment, and then smirks before repeating Darren's earlier words. "Gee, Darren, you're not half-bad."

"Ha. Ha," he chuckles wryly. "I'll take that as a yes."

"So," Chris looks down at his feet awkwardly, stopping next to his car.

"So," Darren repeats.

"This is me. See you around."

Darren lowers his sunglasses. "Maybe that'd be more likely if I got your number?"

"Oh, okay."

"Your phone?"

Chris narrows his eyes.

"I won't steal it. I swear. I'm gonna text myself. That way, we have each other's numbers," Darren reasons.

Chris hands it over. "Wouldn't it be easier to just tell me your number? And vice versa?"

"Yeah, I guess," Darren taps the screen, "but then, you won't have a message from me, and you wouldn't have this." He holds the phone out in front of him and lets his tongue loll to the side and his eyes bug out.

"Oh, how could I ever live without that image in my phone?" Chris replies sarcastically.

"I dunno," Darren pings back, returning the phone. "Luckily, you won't have to find out."

Chris rolls his eyes. "You're crazy."

"Thanks," he smiles. "I guess I should get going, let your friend catch up with you?"

"I'm sure she's not in too much of a rush. Neither of us really have a reason to get back right away."

Darren takes out his phone to add in the new contact, types for a moment, and then looks up in interest. "Oh, really? So, no special girl or guy waiting for you at home?"

"No, and you should have asked me that before you hit on me."

Darren feigns a gasp of surprise. "Is that what I was doing? I was completely unaware."

Chris wants to playfully punch him in the arm, but holds back, unsure of how appropriate that would be. "Girls aren't exactly beating down my door, nor guys either. I prefer the latter, honestly."

"I prefer guys not busting down your door, as well. That definitely works in my favor, though I can't see why they wouldn't be."

Darren stares at him again with what Chris can only describe as lust.

"You're a rare breed, then," Chris swallows, and he has to look away.

"Hey," Darren rests a hand on Chris' upper arm, "am I making you nervous?"

"Kinda," he admits honestly, heat rising on his cheeks. "I--I like you."

"Good. I like you, too. Obviously."

"Huh, you'd think I'd be sort of used to attention. I'm an actor."/p>

Chris already misses the warmth when Darren drops his hand.

"You are? That's cool. I'm an actor, too. Well, I'm attempting it. Mostly failing, to be honest. Hence, the guitar," he points to the instrument on his back.

"Not a bad talent to fall back on. Maybe you should stick with that."

"I'm thinkin' about it," Darren shrugs, a flash of disappointment in his eyes, but he bounces back with a smirk. "After all, it did help me find you."

Chris' heart flutters at Darren's cheesy sentiment, but he won't let him know that just yet. "Ugh, with those kind of lines, why am I still talking to you?" he retorts instead.

Darren leans in, lowering his voice, "Because you like me. Besides, it's too late. I already have your number."

"And if I don't reply to any of your messages or answer your calls, do you plan on stalking me?"

"Depends on where you live."

"L.A. actually."

"Perfect," Darren pulls back. "I'm totally stalking you, then, because I live there, too."

"It's a big city. Good luck with that."

"I'm sure I'll find you."

"Now you actually sound like a stalker."

"If you get famous, I might not be the only one."

"Oh God, don't even joke about that."

"Getting famous or acquiring stalkers?"

"Both."

Darren's smiling at him again; his grin is so wide that it splits across his whole face, and Chris can tell it's entirely genuine in the way Darren's eyes crinkle.

There's a beat of silence, and then Darren replies, "Whatever happens, I call dibs on you."

"There are laws against stalking, and you cannot call dibs on a person, y'know."

"No, you can't," Ashley agrees as she comes up behind Chris and drapes an arm around his shoulder, "because I called dibs on this guy ages ago."

"So, I'm not a person now?" Chris looks at her incredulously.

She squeezes Chris' chin with her other hand. "You are, honey. You're _my_ person." She lets go and turns toward Darren. "You'll have to get used to sharing him."

Darren's gaze darts from Ashley to Chris. "I'm sure we can work something out. Right, Chris?"

"Yeah. I'll definitely let you know, Darren." He tests the name out on his tongue, and finds that he already likes it much more than he should.

" 'Kay. See you around," Darren winks at Chris. "I'm filing for joint custody, Ashley, just so you know. Consider this my notice," he deadpans as he starts to walk away.

"Good luck with that," she calls after him.

"He can put up with me. You should keep this one, Chris."

"We'll see how it goes."

He's certainly considering the possibility.

\----

Darren doesn't give him too long to mull it over; Chris opens his phone the very next day to a text from Darren.

_How's tonight looking for you?_

Chris smiles, the reaction seemingly automatic when it comes to this man.

 _Eager, are we?_ Chris replies.

Darren returns the message barely a minute later:

_Very much so. I'm not even shitting you._

Chris texts back:

_You have such a dirty mouth._

Chris' cheeks redden at the response:

_You don't know the half of it ;)_

And then another, soon after:

_So, tonight? Are you free?_

Chris thinks for a moment. The only plan he really had was maybe working on his screenplay, which he really wanted to do before Glee started filming the next season.

Yet, he can't deny how much he wants to see Darren again, so he answers:

_Yeah. What do you have in mind?_

_Dinner, if you'd like,_ Darren tells him. _How about sushi?_

_I'd love to._

They arrange when and where to meet, and then, Chris sets out getting ready.

He blasts his favorite song, dancing giddily around his apartment as he showers and picks out clothes. After some fussing, he ultimately chooses charcoal-colored jeans and a navy blue button-down shirt, with the bluish-gray scarf he bought right before he met Darren.

He looks in the mirror, thinking that maybe the outfit choice isn't casual enough.

Then, he takes a deep breath to steady himself. "Relax, he already likes you. Why could go wrong?"

\----

It turns out, a lot of things can go wrong.

Chris gets a little lost on the way, even with the GPS, as he's still learning his way around the city.

When he pulls in twenty minutes later than their scheduled meeting time, he hopes that Darren is still there.

Chris scans the restaurant entrance and spots Darren, via his trademark curly hair, in a t-shirt and jeans.

Chris greets him with a quick wave. "Hey, sorry I'm late. I got a little lost and--"

Darren grabs his hand. "Chris. It's totally fine." After looking Chris over, he adds, "Honestly, you're worth the wait."

Chris clears his throat, and snatches his hand away. "Thanks. I would've understood if you ditched me, though."

"Please. I know how much of a bitch the traffic is. It's not like I haven't been late to anything myself. You look stunning, by the way."

"Thanks," he repeats, chuckling. "You don't look too bad yourself."

"I'll take that as a compliment, but I kind of look like a bum. I really wasn't sure what to wear, so I figured something simple."

"Me neither. Simple works." He quickly appraises Darren's figure; the shirt's well-fitted and the pants are tight, but not too tight, just enough to let Chris imagine what's underneath.

He tries not to let his eyes linger there too long.

Luckily, Darren breaks him out of his thoughts before he can go any further.

"Great. I'm glad. Shall we?" Darren offers his arm.

"Sure," Chris takes it, letting Darren lead him through the restaurant.

He doesn't usually prefer following others, but for Darren, he finds that he doesn't mind.

After they sit, Darren peers up from his menu to ask, "What do you think you're getting?"

"Probably the California roll."

"Always a solid choice. I'm probably gonna have the sashimi. It's really good here."

"I've never been," he replies, staring at the various options.

"Wouldn't that be the time to try something new, then?"

His stomach turns with nerves when he notices Darren's grin.

The waitress stops by to take their drink orders, both of them starting out with water.

She departs, and then Darren's asking, "So, how have you been?"

"We just saw each other yesterday," Chris chuckles. "How much could've changed?"

"A lot," Darren answers. "You could have broken your phone, or got a flat tire, or had your apartment invaded by aliens. I don't know, man."

Chris looks at him strangely. "I can assure you that none of those things have happened."

"I'm glad, because that means that you're here, and you haven't been probed."

Chris spits out his water. "Oh my God. Do you have some weird alien fetish or something?"

"Why, do you want me to probe you?"

"Darren!"

"Have you never been probed before? I promise I'll be gentle," Darren smirks.

"You hardly know me," Chris straightens up defensively. "I don't think you should be asking me that on the first date."

Sex is still very new territory for Chris. He's still coming to terms with the notion that other people can find him attractive, and while he has had a couple of fumbling kisses and handjobs in the backseats of cars, he hasn't experienced the pleasure that Darren is referring to.

"You're blushing," Darren grins into his glass.

Chris crosses his arms. "And you're still smirking."

"It's cute. You're cute."

Chris relaxes a little at that, uncrossing his arms but pointedly not meeting Darren's gaze, when the waitress returns.

They place their orders, with Darren adding a glass of sake at the last second.

Thankfully, once the waitress leaves again, Darren abandons his earlier line of questioning in favor of career talk.

Chris isn't sure what he would have admitted to if that conversation continued; Darren is blatantly flirtatious but not cloyingly so, like other guys have been, which is refreshing, but it leaves Chris unsure on what he should give away.

When Darren taps Chris' foot under the table, Chris finally glances up and finds that Darren's warm smile makes him want to give away everything.

Chris swallows thickly and then takes a sip of water.

"So, mysterious Chris, besides being an actor, can you tell me something else about yourself? Your last name, maybe?"

"Why? Are you gonna Google me to see what I've been in?"

"No, that's not why I'm asking, but now, I'm curious," he leans forward, propping his elbows on the table, and resting his chin on his hands.

Chris wonders how Darren could have missed the giant billboards with Chris' face on them dotting the highway. "Chris Colfer," he tentatively offers. "I'm on a TV show."

"Ahh, okay," he searches Chris' face. "Nope, don't recognize you at all, except from yesterday."

"Seriously?"

"Um," Darren pauses to lick his lips, "I'm pretty sure I'd remember you."

Heat pools low in Chris' stomach and he fidgets in his seat, trying not to think about how Darren might taste if they kiss, or how his mouth might feel against other, less innocent places.

"So, uh, Mister Unemployed Actor-Slash-Busker, what's your last name?" Chris stammers out.

"Criss. Darren Criss. I promise it's not spelled the same as your first name. It's C-R-I-S-S, like criss-cross applesauce."

Chris laughs. "What, are you, five?"

"Sometimes, I might act like it," he looks down shyly, one side of his mouth quirking up, "in spite of what my driver's license says."

Chris' heart flips in his chest; he's already in deep with this guy and it's only the first date.

Chris can't decide whether or not that's good, but he dares to hope so.

"What?" Darren asks playfully, breaking Chris from his thoughts.

"Nothing. I like you. That's all," Chris confesses quietly, right as the waitress breezes by to set their food, and Darren's drink, down in front of them.

Darren picks up his chopsticks. "I hope so. Otherwise, this date would be pointless."

Chris rolls his eyes. "I've been on pointless dates before."

"If that's true, those other dates were with boring idiots who couldn't comprehend your awesomeness."

"Obviously," Chris chuckles wryly.

"I'm wondering, awesome Chris Colfer, what else do you do besides act?"

"Well," he takes a bite and swallows, "I like to write."

"That's cool. The only things I've written are songs, and a few dumb comics when I was a kid. What kinda stuff do you write?"

"All kinds of things, actually. I'm currently working on a screenplay. I don't know if it'll ever get produced, but..."

"Hey, you never know. It could happen," Darren shrugs as he downs his sake.

"How do you know if I'm any good?" Chris wonders, the heat within him flaring when he notices the way Darren's Adam apple bobs.

"I don't know, man, but I'm not a dream crusher. Everyone deserves a shot, at least." He sinks a little in his chair as he continues eating.

Chris' hopes brighten a little, knowing that he at least has one person on his side for his as yet unrealized aspiration.

It seems like Darren's own hopes might be fading, though.

"What about you? What about your dreams, Darren?"

He meets Chris' eyes, and then looks down, toying with his chopsticks. "I just want to do something that matters. Not that entertaining people on street corners or in restaurants doesn't matter, but," he sighs, "I don't know. It'd be cool to, like, know that I could affect someone else's life in a positive, lasting way."

Darren seems smaller somehow when he looks up at Chris again, as if awaiting disapproval. "Sorry to get all deep and stuff on the first date. I didn't intend to get into that."

Chris' heart tugs in his chest at the sudden urge to erase that line of worry across Darren's forehead, so he quickly speaks up.

"No, I get what you mean. I like that you trusted me with that."

 _I might like you even more now,_ Chris thinks, now that Darren's revealed a deeper piece of himself. It's a nice change, compared to all the unapologetically self-absorbed guys he's dated before.

Darren finishes his last bite of tuna. "Cool. I tend to ramble, so that's good to know."

"If I wanted you to shut up, I would've told you," Chris laughs.

Darren straightens up, the confident flirtatious lilt returning to his voice. "I'm sure there are more creative ways than telling me."

"I don't know if you deserve my creativity yet," Chris challenges, tackling his last sushi roll.

"Oh, I see. So spilling out my hopes and dreams over sushi isn't enough for you?"

"Technically, you're not eating sushi," Chris points out.

"Is this how it's going to be? You playing hard to get?"

He boldly holds Darren's gaze. "Maybe."

There's a mischievous glint in Darren's eyes. "I can work with that."

"You're assuming that I want to see you again."

Darren clutches his hand to his heart in mock distress. "Why, I'm crushed, Mr. Colfer. Are you saying you don't want to see me again?"

"I never said that. All I mean is that it's dangerous to assume."

He tilts his head in consideration. "True. I usually don't, but it's nice to hope that you're interested."

Chris isn't sure about being so forward, but admits, "I'm definitely interested."

He taps Chris' foot under the table. "Good."

After they split the check and pay for their respective meals, Darren repeats the question he asked yesterday, when they first met.

"Can I, um, walk you to your car?"

"Sure," Chris blushes, thinking that Darren might want to kiss him, which he certainly wouldn't be opposed to.

When Darren places a hand on the small of Chris' back to help him up, a comforting warmth hits the base of Chris' spine, like Darren's touch belongs there.

They walk out to Chris' car in silence, Chris' heart hammering in his chest, until Chris nervously breaks it once they reach their destination. "I had fun. That was nice."

"Me, too, Chris. You're something else."

"A good something else?"

Darren's eyes flit to Chris' mouth right before he cups Chris' cheek. "A very good something else. Can I--?"

Not long after Chris nods, Darren gives him a surprisingly brief, chaste peck on the lips, almost like he knows they'll do it again.

"So, uh, we should do this again some time," Darren swallows when they part.

"Yeah. That much is pretty clear."

Darren bites his lip and smiles widely. "Goodnight, Chris."

"'Night, Darren."

Darren turns to leave, but then spins on his heel.

"Wait. Do you wanna get dessert or coffee, maybe?" Darren wonders, his eyes flitting over Chris' face to gauge his reaction.

Chris hesitates, because he has an early meeting tomorrow, but tonight has been so wonderful, and they've barely learned anything about each other.

Chris wants to rectify that as soon as possible.

Darren starts to walk away again, but Chris touches Darren's forearm.

"Wait. I'd like that a lot," Chris answers.

\----

They end up in a diner, sharing a banana split.

Darren's foot brushes against Chris' leg more than once under the table.

Chris raises an eyebrow.

Darren just winks and grins slyly, continuing to slide his foot up Chris' clothed calf.

Chris distracts himself from the constant charge of Darren's touch by striking further conversation, starting with questions of why and how Darren arrived in the city.

Darren explains that he came to Los Angeles after college and he's rooming with a couple of buddies from school who are chasing similar dreams. Darren's far from home, but not too far; he's originally from further upstate, San Francisco.

Chris tells him that he's also from California, a decidedly less liberal town near Fresno, worlds away from L.A. or San Fran.

Darren asks about it, but Chris doesn't give too many details except that he misses his family, who still lives there, but he's glad to be permanently based elsewhere.

Darren agrees. He loves his own family, too, but he also loves the path he's chosen, most of the time, because _"it's all about the journey, man."_

Chris shakes his head and laughs, enchanted with the way Darren's eyes light up while he twirls the spoon.

After another all-too-brief farewell kiss in which Chris tastes the chocolate syrup still sticking to Darren's lips, Chris tells him that he needs to get home.

"Why, is it past your curfew or something?" Darren jokes.

"Or something," Chris chooses.

Darren pouts adorably, and Chris leans in to kiss it away.

Darren chases his mouth when Chris turns his head to break it off.

"Let's take it slow, okay?" Chris gently tells him.

"Okay," Darren sighs, sliding a hand up Chris' jaw and stroking his thumb along Chris' cheek. "Talk to you later, yeah?"

"I don't know. Maybe I've had enough of you," he grins slyly and leans into Darren's touch.

"Y'know, I'm getting mixed signals here, Chris," he chuckles. "I don't know how I feel about that."

Chris lays a hand against Darren's hip, playfully pushing him away. "I'll text you when I get home, okay?"

"Alright. Goodnight, Chris."

" 'Night, Darren," he says softly, watching Darren leave.

As soon as Chris is safely in his car, he throws his head back in a happy sigh.

Maybe he lets out a yell of joy, too, before he turns the engine on to go home.

\----

Chris spends the next few days in a giddy haze over his budding relationship with Darren. They exchange texts and quick phone calls seemingly nonstop, from the time Chris leaves for work in the morning, to when his drowsy eyes can no longer stay open at night.

Chris is supposed to be waiting for his cues during table reads on the new script, but he can't help stealing glances at his phone.

If he delivers his lines out of sync and acts inappropriately bubbly, he can't really help that, either.

The cast takes a break halfway through and just as Chris starts his reply to Darren's latest text, Lea nudges his elbow.

"Hey, who's got you so distracted? And don't tell me it's work, because I know work doesn’t give you _that look._ Not the scene that we’re doing right now, anyway.”

"It's nothing," Chris lies, his smile betraying him as he reads Darren's message.

_Dude, the monkeys want IN on the hovercrafts. Why do you think they're trying to escape?_

Somehow they got into a heated conversation about zoo animals, which turned into this.

Chris draws his eyebrows together and looks up at Lea. “What look? What are you talking about?”

"That excited _'I'd rather be with the boy I'm texting'_ look." She gasps when she realizes her own conclusion. "It's a boy, isn't it? Spill it, Chris."

She curls up in her chair, intent on listening to a story he's not sure he wants to tell yet.

"I just met him. We've only been on one date."

She lays a hand on his arm. "Was it good, though? Did you kiss him?" she asks, leaning conspiratorially towards Chris.

"Oh my God, Lea!" Chris blushes. "Yeah, um, it went pretty well. We kissed quite a few times, actually."

She bounces in her chair and squeezes his wrist. "Ooh, yay! Are you gonna see him again?"

"I--ow!--Yes, I am. He's so...different from anyone I've ever met, but yeah. I'd like to."

He looks back down to his phone to finally respond to Darren:

_Now I'm thinking about monkeys driving hovercrafts and being chased by zookeepers. I've been laughing inappropriately for hours. Thanks._

"That's great. Different's good," Lea says, while Chris' eyes stay trained on his phone until Darren's answer pops up.

 _I'm detecting some sarcasm, Christopher. If you don't appreciate my humor, I can think of plenty of other inappropriate activities we can do together ;)_

"Yeah, I think it will be," Chris replies to Lea half-heartedly, as he taps out a message to Darren.

_Oh, yeah? Tell me more._

The response is almost immediate.

_Can you come over?_

Chris bites his lip, hoping Darren doesn't want more than he can give.

Still, they haven't seen each other since their first date about three days ago, so he's buzzing with the anticipation of seeing Darren again, and of course, kissing him.

He finally tells Darren he's busy at the moment, but maybe later.

_How about dinner tonight? Darren suggests. Pizza at my place?_

Chris hesitates, but everyone's filing back into the room to resume work, and he doesn't want to leave Darren hanging, or let him think he's uninterested, so he texts back:

_Yeah. I'll let you know when I'm free._

When Lea starts reading her line, his phone buzzes.

_Cool! Can't wait :)_

\----

Darren texts him the address after Chris gets off work, and after fussing with his hair and clothes a bit, he drives over there, nerves twisting in his stomach.

Darren opens the door with a grin. "Welcome to my humble abode. Would you like anything? Coffee, tea, me?"

Chris steps inside, stopping short of answering, _You, of course._

"Um, no thanks."

Darren grabs Chris' wrist, pulling him in close. "You don't want me? I'm crushed, Christopher."

"I'm here, aren't I?" he manages breathlessly.

"True." Darren's eyes flicker down to Chris' lips.

Darren raises a thick brow questioningly, a playful smirk playing across his mouth.

Chris catches the heat in Darren's amber gaze, and then nods dumbly.

Darren's lips feel dry, but his mouth is warm and inviting, so Chris boldly slips his tongue inside, tasting a hint of bitterness.

He squeezes Darren's hip, and they press even closer.

Darren shifts against him and gasps into Chris' mouth before dragging his lips away.

"So," Darren murmurs, "I was thinking, before pizza, we try something."

"Yeah?"

Chris tenses, suddenly wanting to snatch his hand out of Darren's hold; instead, he forces himself to look into Darren's eyes, a glassy haze there that he didn't notice before.

The thumb of Darren's other hand pads over the bow of Chris' mouth, and catches on his bottom lip.

Chris shivers, instinctively wanting to take it into his mouth, but he holds back.

"I don't know if you've ever engaged in any illegal activity, but we're about to. If you're cool with it, that is," Darren tells him.

"Depends on what you mean."

Darren takes both his hands, leading him to the living room, where smoke billows up from a rolled cigarette in an ashtray. It smells acrid, almost how Darren tasted.

"Just some weed, if you're down," he mentions casually as they both settle into the couch. "We're not robbing a bank or anything. Although, we could do that after," he laughs.

Chris' eyes dart to the coffee table that the ashtray rests on. "I hear getting high makes you hungry, so you'd probably want to rob a Taco Bell, not a bank."

"Oh my God, yes, I--" Darren steals his hands from Chris' grasp. "Yeah. I like the way you think, man. Tacos are fucking awesome, and they're so cheap that we wouldn't have to steal them." 

Darren clears his throat and rubs his hands over his knees. "Anyway, so, you've never...?" He gestures, tilting his head toward the table.

He had been offered in the past, at a couple of cast parties but always declined.

Mark and Naya had teased, _"Aww, c'mon, let us corrupt you."_

He argued that being in their presence was corruption enough.

"No," Chris gulps.

"You wanna?" He searches Chris' face. "I can, um, teach you."

Chris spots the hopeful expression painting Darren's features, and finds himself nodding dumbly yet again. "Yeah. Yes."

"You sure it's okay?"

"Not really, but I'd like to experiment in this case."

Darren pats Chris' arm, and lets the touch linger before dropping his hand away. "It'll help you chill out."

Chris misses the warmth instantly. "Who says I need to chill out?"

"Me. I can tell. That's why I do it sometimes. Things get to me, and I just, need to unwind, y'know? It can help with creativity," he replies matter-of-factly.

Chris quirks his brow. "Oh, so, that's your secret to brilliant songwriting?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. I don't want you to know all my secrets yet, creative or otherwise."

Chris thinks the way he says 'yet' means he wants to reveal these secrets to Chris eventually, after knowing him less than a week, which sends his heart in his throat because Chris wants that, too.

He wants to learn everything about this man who plays guitar for money, engages in recreational drug use, and seems like he stepped straight out of a hippie movie.

Yet, there must be more to Darren than that, and Chris can't wait to discover it all.

Darren picks up the joint, purses his lips around it, and puffs his chest out. He holds it for a beat.

He exhales a smoke ring with practiced ease, and grins lazily at Chris.

"What?" Darren chuckles.

"Nothing. Gimme."

Darren's hooded eyes center on Chris' mouth. "I told you I'd teach you."

He keeps the joint between his fingers, holding it to Chris' lips. "You just close your lips around the end, and you wanna hold the smoke in, so you can get a hit."

Chris follows Darren's instructions, focusing on Darren's nimble, calloused fingers, and takes a deep breath, the sweet smoke filling his lungs.

"Then, you breathe out."

He does so, smoke releasing out of his nose and mouth. Darren takes the weed away from him, and Chris starts to cough a little.

Darren pats his back. "You'll be alright, babe. You look like a fucking dragon," he giggles.

He feels warm and floaty at the sentiment, or maybe it's the drug.

Maybe it's both.

Whatever the case, Chris laughs with him.

"Did you get anything off of it?" Darren asks, still rubbing his back, and taking a hit of his own.

"Yeah, I think so. I'd like to try again, to be sure."

Darren holds an index finger up, his lips forming a perfect 'o' as he blows smoke into Chris' face.

Chris' mind strays to how those lips would look forming that shape for entirely different reasons, when they're both naked, and Chris open his legs the way he's beginning to open his heart.

"Chris, you're supposed to open your mouth, so you can get a hit from me."

"Sorry, I was a bit...distracted." He's still staring at Darren's mouth."Oh, I see," Darren comments gruffly. "How about we try a different approach, then?"

Chris' shoulders relax. "Okay," he breathes out, watching Darren take a long, slow pull from the cigarette, before he slides his hand over Chris' cheek.

Darren's lip crash into his, and, as if in slow motion, Darren's tongue dives into his mouth.

Chris kisses back as much as he can in his overwhelming haze, and tastes more of the smoke, plus some other intangible element that he realizes is uniquely Darren.

Darren reaches under Chris' shirt and nudges him onto his back.

"This okay?" Darren breathes against his lips.

"Mmm," Chris hums and thrusts up lazily.

"Good."

Darren languidly rubs his groin against Chris'. "God, wanna feel you everywhere," he groans as his mouth traces the scar on Chris' neck. "How'd you get this?"

"Huh?" Chris' fingers tighten in Darren's curls. "Oh, um, I slipped while I was climbing a tree, scratched it on some bark."

Darren licks and nips at the spot. "Hmm, kinda gnarly for just a scratch."

"I've always been kinda hardcore about climbing things." His face heats once he realizes the innuendo.

"Really?" Darren kisses up his neck, and whispers in his ear, "I'd love to see you practice that skill sometime."

Chris tilts his head, granting Darren easier access. "Maybe you will." He grazes the hem of Darren's shirt, brushing his fingers across the small of Darren's back.

" 's that an invitation?" Darren's hands slide up Chris' sides.

"Perhaps."

"Fuck, Chris," he grunts, kissing along Chris' jaw and finding his lips again.

"Can, I, um--?" Darren wonders, his thumb rubbing the soft material of Chris' shirt.

Chris freezes; he's been in similar situations with other guys, but this time feels different, like he's on the brink of something he might not be able to handle yet.

"I--I don't know."

"Hey, we don't have to. If you don't feel comfortable, that's totally fine."

He shyly looks away from Darren's burning gaze. "It's not like I haven't done anything before. I--"

Darren slides his hands out from underneath Chris' shirt. "It's okay. You really don't have to justify anything to me, man."

Chris already misses the warmth. "I do want to do... _things,_ with you, but, I kind of wanna take it slow?"

"Okay. That's okay," he pecks Chris' lips in reassurance. "How 'bout pizza, then?"

Darren's arousal still stirs against his own, but Chris clears his throat, answering, "Sounds good. I'm starving."

He squeezes Chris' side. "Things, huh?"

"Yeah. Things."

Darren stares at Chris' lips. "You might need to expand on that at a later date. Inquiring minds and all."

Chris smiles at him lazily. "Duly noted."

"I'll be right back."

Darren carefully gets up and grabs his phone, striding over to the kitchen, where Chris can hear him ordering the food.

Chris' heart flips at how loose and familiar this all feels, after barely a week.

He could definitely get used to this.

Darren treats him to two large pizzas and they eat all but three slices.

Chris rests a hand on his stomach, and his head against Darren's shoulder, once they've finished.

"I cannot eat like that ever again. I'm pretty sure I'll have to try on tight jeans in the next few days."

Darren plays with Chris' hair. "Ooh, can I be there?"

Chris grimaces, and swats at Darren's arm. "Perv. It's for work."

"So?" Darren pauses, his eyes squinting thoughtfully. "Then again, I'd probably distract you too much. You look really good in skinny jeans. Like, really good."

He thinks about how much of a distraction working with Darren would be, and contemplates whether or not he'd fit in with the rest of the cast.

Darren's already broken through Chris' nearly impenetrable exterior, and he seems to get along with Ashley so far.

Everyone else would probably fall for him, too.

Chris isn't sure he'd be okay with sharing Darren with all of them, though. His professional and private life already meld together more than he'd like, and Darren feels like something sacred that he doesn't want that world to touch just yet.

He wants to protect this bond, especially at such an early, fragile stage.

But he's about to discover that what he wants isn't always relevant.

\----

In a natural extension of their budding relationship, he follows Darren on Twitter the week after that.

His eyes widen when Darren demonstrates before and after pictures of his new haircut.

Chris frowns, already regretting not having enough chances to tug on those curls the way he thinks Darren would like.

Maybe he still could, even if there's less of them.

Chris texts him on a break from trying on wardrobe.

_What did you do to your hair?_

Darren replies:

_I had it cut. It's very sad. I think I need to mourn the loss. Have a memorial or something._

Chris answers back:

_Why'd you cut it, then?_

Chris narrows his eyes at the response:

_I don't wanna say yet, but I promise I'll let you know :)_

Chris wonders and hopes that whatever the reason, it turns out well, but he still teases:

_What's with the smiley? I thought you were in mourning._

Chris laughs and shakes his head when Darren returns with:

_I am so heartbroken, Chris. I might need some consoling in the form of tacos and handjobs._

_Your stove will make the perfect funeral pyre, no?,_ Chris jokes.

_Exactly, because I can't cook. Then we'd be mourning the loss of our dinner *and* my hair._

Chris tells him:

_Poor you. I'll see you tonight._

\----

After a glorious night of fast food, and making out on Darren's couch, filming for the new season finally starts.

The long hours shooting mean that he can hardly see Darren over the next month or so. They text, and Chris visits him at a few gigs. Darren's his usual, upbeat self, but he never mentions any more news on the reason for his mysterious haircut.

Whatever Darren's opportunity was, Chris thinks it might have passed, and he doesn't want to risk upsetting him.

But one day, upon entering Ryan's office, he learns that maybe he won't have to.

Ryan had told Chris that Kurt would gain a possible love interest, which Chris thought would be the new character of Sam Evans. Since that didn't pan out quite the way everyone had hoped, Ryan was meeting with Chris again to inform him of their new plan.

"So, Kurt's going to spy on this posh, private school, all boys, a safe haven compared to McKinley," Ryan starts when they sit down, "and he meets this guy there. Handsome, older. Leader of the glee club. Kurt's instantly smitten. Turns out they have a lot in common, including growing up gay."

"Someone who might actually return his affection?" Chris raises a brow and smiles.

Maybe Kurt will have something good in his life after all the bullying, someone on his side who truly understands him.

"Perhaps," Ryan smiles devilishly, the kind that Chris has come to discern that he's up to something.

"Anyway," his boss continues, "the reason I called you in here is because I cast him. You wanna meet him?"

Chris nods.

Ryan calls his secretary on the intercom to bring the actor in.

Chris turns in his chair, his knuckles tightening on the arms and his face going pale when he sees who's standing in the doorway.

"Chris, this is Darren. Darren, Chris," Ryan introduces them.

Shock registers on Darren's face, but only for a second, before he's walking toward a still-seated Chris.

Darren offers his hand with a shit-eating grin. "So, you're the Kurt Hummel? I've heard so much about you. I'm Darren, but you already know that."

"Thank you, yeah. Um, you look kinda familiar," Chris shakes Darren's hand. "You were in some YouTube show or something, right? A Harry Potter parody?"

Darren's mouth drops open. Then, he realizes he's been holding Chris' hand a beat too long, and drops it.

"You never--" Darren scratches the back of his neck nervously, "I mean, yeah. That was some dumb thing I did in college. How did you--?"

Now it's Chris' turn to wear a shit-eating grin. "I love Harry Potter. I talk about it all the time. Turns out we have a common interest."

Darren stares at him dumbfounded. "Cool. Yeah. I look forward to working with you. We'll have so much to discuss, Chris."

"Yes, we will, Darren," he answers sharply, his quick comeback replaced by a need to address why Darren never informed him of his new job.

"I think we made the right choice, then," Ryan chimes in.

"Perhaps," Chris mimics Ryan's earlier response. "We'll see."

\----

As they leave the office and heading toward the parking lot, Chris rushes out under his breath, "Why didn't you tell me you were auditioning for Glee?"

"I didn't know I had to run my career choices by you," Darren snaps. "I wanted to make sure I got it first."

"Oh, so you could surprise me in front of my boss?"

"He's my boss, too, now," Darren replies in a hushed tone as they continue down the hallway, "and I didn't know exactly who you were until after I followed you on Twitter. I wondered why you had so many followers, and then I remembered the whole TV show thing, so I looked up a few clips, and you're really good, like I thought you'd be. I really do look forward to working with you."

Chris stops in front of the elevator, the flare of ire beneath his skin cooling down. "You think I'm good?"

Darren hits the down button for the lobby. " 'Course I do. Excellent, to be honest. I checked out the rest of your scenes after I got the role. You took what could have been a one-note character and made him really nuanced and flawed, and worth rooting for. I will be honored to share a set with you. I'm not just saying that to get into your pants, either," Darren leans into him, "though I hope I still get to."

"Don't say that too loudly." Chris chides him. "Wait, you checked me out?"

Darren trails his fingertips down Chris' forearms. "Oh yeah, I did," Darren seamlessly transitions his voice from neutral to low and flirty. "Should I not have? I don't wanna make all the other guys jealous of me."

"Don't try to flirt your way out of this," Chris warns him, "and there are no other guys. I just don't want to publicize our relationship yet."

"Oh, okay. I see." Darren snatches his hand away and turns toward the elevator doors. "You wanna keep it professional."

"Yeah. I'd prefer that we keep what's going on between us separate from work."

Darren glances over at him quickly, a flash of hurt in his eyes. "How? Are you going to pretend you don't know me?"

"No, I--I don't know. How could you not tell me you looked me up?"

They both step in through the open doors, Darren pressing the lobby button, and practically shouting, "I don't know. How could you not tell me that you've seen 'A Very Potter Musical'?"

"Why are you acting like that's such a big deal? It has millions of views."

"Because, it's special to me. It's nice to see who actually cares about it, that _you_ care about it. How are we going to work together if we keep secrets from each other?"

"It's not a secret. We haven't talked about it yet. That's all. I never planned on being involved with a coworker. I don't know how to do this. Any of it," Chris sighs. "We're still getting to know each other, and--"

"And that's okay." Darren reaches for Chris' hand, but then stops. "We can make it work. This could be a good thing. We'll actually get to spend more time together."

"True. I wouldn't mind seeing your face more often, I guess," Chris grins.

"Oh, you guess?" Darren grins back at him as the doors slide open. "Sounds like a horrible burden, Christopher."

"Ugh, yeah. It will be," Chris groans, "I might have to stretch my skills a bit to feign attraction to you."

"I'm glad I can help you improve your abilities. Not that you need much help, anyway."

When they step out of the elevator together, Chris is careful not to touch him, though Darren brushes their shoulders together.

Chris' cheeks flush with the compliment. "Um, thanks."

They walk out the front door, Darren holding it open for Chris.

"No problem. You're a fucking natural, man."

Silence lingers between them for a moment while they stand on the edge of the parking lot, until Darren speaks again.

"So, we're good, right? I'm sorry if I blindsided you before."

"Yeah. We will be, I think. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about seeing your show. You're really talented, too."

Darren chuckles, "That wasn't all me, but thank you."

There's a beat of quietness again, and then, they start walking to their cars.

"Hey, Chris, did we just have our first fight?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"So, how about we make up?" Darren crowds his space, pressing him against Chris' car door. "I hear makeup sex is pretty amazing."

"Oh, yeah?" Chris whispers breathily, instead of pushing him away, like he knows he should, too caught up in how Darren's bare skin might feel against his own.

"Mhmm. God, I wanna kiss you so bad," he sighs into Chris' neck.

Chris clears his throat, and finally does push Darren away, despite the temptation.

"Save it for later, Dare. Professionalism, remember?"

Darren smirks, his eyes flickering to Chris' lips. "Screw professionalism. You're hot, and we're not actually working right now."

Chris raises an eyebrow at him.

"Fine," Darren groans dramatically. "See you later?"

"How about my place?"

"Okay." Darren scans the lot briefly. "Can I at least hug you?"

Darren's face looks so hopeful that Chris can't bear to refuse him.

"Yeah."

Darren's arms envelop him and his lips graze the corner of Chris' jaw.

"Be good," Chris cautions.

"Where's the fun in that?" Darren whispers teasingly into his ear, before pulling away. "I'll be over in a couple hours, babe."

He watches Darren walk toward his car, and wonders whether or not he can survive working on a set with Darren all day, if his legs turn to jelly every time the man's in his vicinity.

It may make his life on set easier, he hopes it doesn't screw up his life offset.

\----

Thankfully, it doesn't, too much, aside from mitigating his nearly nonexistent sex life. They have even less time to spend together personally, but he manages Darren’s presence pretty well in his work environment.

It helps that they film most of their scenes away from the sound stages at Paramount, and on location in a Pasadena mansion. It's like a bubble, where no one from the regular cast can grill Chris about why he's standing so close to the new guy between takes.

As they chat during those off moments, Chris' heart blooms in his chest with every new detail he learns about Darren, and it translates well to Kurt's budding crush on his new acquaintance.

They set up for the performance scene, and though Chris knows what will happen, a strange sense of déjà vu floods him when the backing track starts to play.

Chris maintains Kurt's sense of wonder easily, but his mind travels to Santa Monica, and a bushy-haired guy with a guitar.

There aren't any instruments this time, except Darren's recorded voice (which can't even compare to the wilder and more emotional live version) and Darren's body swaying to the beat in a practiced formation with a bunch of other actors. 

Even in a sea of prep-school boys and controlled choreography, Darren still commands his attention. He picks Chris, _Kurt,_ out in the crowd, staring straight at him with a twinkle in his eye, very much like the day they met not too long ago.

Like a cliché, the rest of the world disappears as he falls under the spell of Darren's _\-- Blaine's --_ charming gaze, and then, Chris' heart races in his chest, eerily mirroring the lyrics of the song.

Heat stirs low in Chris' belly, and while he looks around the room in amazement, as directed by the script, his mind wanders to images of Darren's familiar, calloused fingers searching and pressing into intimate places that Chris has never let anyone else explore.

Then, the director calls cut, and Chris has some difficulty quelling the buildup of arousal inside him.

Darren treads over to him, not exactly helping. _"Chris,"_ he exhales, the warm hazel melting into a heat that Chris has only seen right before they've kissed, but it quickly disappears into something more neutral.

"You're really good, Darren. I mean, I already knew that, but Kurt is so screwed," Chris laughs.

Darren blushes and smiles brightly, letting the praise wash over him. "Thanks."

Chris leans into him and comments quietly, "I might be, too. Am I that obvious?"

"A little, but it works for Kurt," Darren replies. "It's cute."

Chris lays a hand over Darren's hip, and quietly confesses, "Well, my thoughts are anything but cute right now."

Darren grips Chris' wrist. "Good thing these pants are forgiving, then, because neither are mine now."

"Why don't you tell me about them later?"

"Definitely," Darren flirts low in his ear.

"It's a date," he returns in his own lower register, when one stylist bursts in between them to adjust Chris' makeup, and then another to work on Darren's hair.

"Hate you," Darren mouths to him around a smile. He quickly acknowledges the stylist with a wink and a perfectly charming smile.

"No, you don't," Chris mouths back. "My place or yours later?"

"Mine," Darren mouths in reply and winks, taking his position across the room to reshoot some of the musical number.

\----

"Had a real rough first day today, babe," Darren remarks conversationally between kisses to Chris' neck as they lay in Darren's bed later that night, with Chris splayed out underneath him.

"Hmm?"

Darren reaches under Chris' shirt. "Costar's a real bitch. Won't stop flirting with me, and complimenting me."

Chris' hands slide over the back of Darren's jeans. "Must be a pain."

"Mmm, totally," he kisses Chris' lips, and then strokes his cheek with one hand. "And he's so gorgeous, I can't stop staring at him." Another kiss. "Hard to look at him and not imagine," a nip at Chris' bottom lip, "doing exactly _this,"_ he punctuates it by grounding his hips down against Chris'.

Chris thrusts back. "Fuck, Darren."

"Yeah? So I'm guessing that was okay?"

"Yeah. Yes. Please," he whines embarrassingly, unsure of what he's begging for.

"Please what? Tell me what you want, Chris." His fingers hover over the button of Chris' fly.

"You," he answers automatically.

Darren kisses the corner of his jaw. "Nice try. You already got me. How about I touch you? Like, here?" Darren brushes his knuckles over the heavy outline of Chris' cock.

Chris shivers. "Yes."

Darren kisses down Chris' neck, pausing to assess Chris' face. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Darren unzips Chris' pants, working his hand inside.

Chris grunts as Darren's rough thumb swipes at the head of his cock.

"Can I take these off?" Darren asks, holding the waistband of Chris' pants between his thumb and forefinger.

"Yes, please."

"Good," Darren smiles.

While Chris lifts up to oblige him, Darren keeps jerking him off, and then kisses Chris' mouth, his jaw, the side of his face.

"Wanna taste you," Darren confesses in his ear.

Chris groans in response, gripping Darren's hair.

"O-okay," Chris affirms brokenly.

"Like, here, I mean," Darren mumbles gruffly, the pad of Darren's thumb brushing over Chris' asshole.

"Oh. I--I've never, um..." Chris trails off nervously.

"But do you want me to?" Darren asks, concern and lust equally lacing his tone.

Chris hesitates, but answers, "Yeah. Yes."

"Okay," Darren licks his lips, and leans down to kiss Chris' mouth sweetly, bringing a hand up to Chris' cheek. "I promise I'll make you feel so good, and if you're not into it, we can stop, alright?"

Chris swallows, awestruck at how gently Darren's treating him. " 'Kay," Chris nods.

"You sure? Because I just wanna," he sucks on Chris' bottom lip, "make you feel good."

"Mhmm," Chris confirms.

Darren's about to kiss him again when Chris stops him with a hand to his cheek.

"Wait, are you--are we exclusive?" Chris asks him in a rush.

"Yeah, yeah. Of course we are. I'm not dating, or fucking, anyone else, just so we're clear."

Chris sighs deeply, trying to wrap his head around the enormity of that statement. "Okay."

"Do you still want me to?"

"Yeah."

He lets Darren take off his shirt and mouth along his neck again, hissing when Darren eagerly sucks at the raised skin of his scar.

Chris squirms but bares his neck. "This is a little, uh, unfair," he grabs a fistful of Darren's shirt, "you being fully clothed, I mean."

Darren grunts, face still buried in the crook of Chris' neck. "Huh?" He wetly kisses Chris' collarbone. "Sorry. Can't hear you. I'm a little busy." 

Darren continues to the other side, his kisses slowly evolving into nips and bites once he approaches Chris' opposite shoulder.

"Mmm, careful," Chris warns.

He kisses down to Chris' nipple, sucking around the stiffened peak. "Wanna mark you everywhere." Then he takes the other one in his mouth, and kisses a path down the middle of his chest. "Your skin is just--" he cuts off, licking at the crease of Chris' thigh, and then briefly sucking at one of his balls.

Darren, still between Chris' legs, scrambles for a spare pillow that somehow ended up near Chris' hip earlier. "Can you lift up a little?" Darren asks, warm breath ghosting over Chris' asshole.

Once Chris bends his knees, places his feet flat against the bed, and opens his legs wide, his body tenses.

"Relax," Darren murmurs. "You're so hot," he kisses right near the rim, "so sexy," an open-mouthed kiss to his asshole, "and you smell so good." A wet press of Darren's tongue. "But, you taste even better."

"Oh, ohh," Chris buries his fingers in Darren's hair with another eager kiss down there. "Don't stop."

He doesn't, sucking and kissing around Chris, until he's pushing his tongue inside.

"Fuck, Dare."

This only spurs him on more, Chris' other hand fisting the sheets as Darren licks around him and tugs at Chris' cock.

"Mmm, Darren," he moans, a familiar tightness pulling at him. "Dare."

He keeps at it, and then Chris comes over Darren's fist with a soft gasp.

Darren leans back, with bright eyes and wild hair, a bit of come streaking the top of his head.

Chris blushes but Darren laughs.

"Chris, this is perfect. I needed some hair gel."

"You're gross."

Darren kisses the tip of Chris' softening cock. "You're gorgeous."

"Shut up and c'mere."

Darren runs his finger through the drying come, and sucks it into his mouth, not breaking eye contact with him. "Chris," he says gruffly, making Chris' oversensitive cock twinge back to life.

"That," Chris huffs out, "was a lot."

"Mhmm," Darren crawls back up and kisses him on the lips. "I know, babe," he soothes his tongue over a blooming purplish red mark on Chris' collarbone. "Intense, huh?"

"Yeah, but I still want-- Can I touch you?" He lazily gropes for the button of Darren's jeans until he unhooks it, and then fumbles with the zipper.

"Ugh," Darren hisses when Chris' knuckles graze his cock. "Yeah. God, yes."

Chris' breath hitches as he pulls Darren up for a kiss, and they both work on shimmying Darren's pants and underwear, without parting.

Then, Chris wraps his hand around Darren's cock, the weight of it hot and heavy in his hand.

"Mmm. Yes, that's so good. Chris, please."

Chris starts to jerk Darren off hard, tracing the slit at the head.

"Oh, fuck," Darren curses under his breath, and after a few more strokes, he releases between them.

Darren's face scrunches up so beautifully as he lets out a sound somewhere between a grunt and a moan, Chris' name quietly falling from his lips.

Darren collapses against him, kissing the crook of his neck.

They lay in silence, Chris rubbing Darren's back, until Darren suddenly speaks.

"I, um, I'll be right back," he pushes off the bed after a quick kiss to Chris' cheek.

Darren says it with such seriousness that has Chris thinking, for one brief, terrible second, that he made a mistake in letting Darren in, and that Darren's going to leave him there.

But, then, rationally, he remembers that he's at Darren's house, and that emotionally, Darren wouldn't have acted with such gentleness if he didn't care.

Chris sighs, thinking that maybe he's thinking too much, and that he might be too invested for his own good.

Before he can continue, Darren's back, shirtless, and with boxers hanging low on his narrow hips. He's carrying a wash cloth and a small smile, which quickly morphs into a frown when he sees Chris' face.

Darren sits beside Chris' hip. "You okay? What's wrong?"

Chris' eyes widen for a second, zeroing in on Darren's tanned and lean torso, smattered with dark hair. "Nothing." Chris stares blankly. "A little worn out, that's all."

"Good," Darren chuckles, following Chris' gaze. "That would make sense, if I did everything right," he leans down and lays the cloth over Chris' chest, "which I'm pretty sure I did," he kisses Chris' neck, "given the noises you made."

"Noises? Unhh," he whimpers as Darren cleans him off and starts to mouth at an already sore spot. "Careful. Those are a pain to cover."

"Mmm, _those_ noises." Darren pulls back, with a mischievous grin on his face. "You could always wear a scarf."

Chris blushes, punching Darren's arm. "Wardrobe would hate me, and makeup."

"So?" He goes back to Chris' neck. "I'll tell them I couldn't help myself."

_"Darren."_

_"Chriiis."_

There's a light brush of lips to Chris' ear. "You love it."

"Dare, seriously."

"Ugh. Fine," Darren groans, flopping down next to him. "If you wanna be serious. Jesus."

Chris turns and sits up, leaning over him. "I do," he blurts out, unable to contain himself. "I mean, if you want to."

Darren scoots up to meet him, searching his face for a second. "Chris. Of course I do. I would love nothing more."

"Great."

Darren kisses him, and grabs Chris' hips, rolling Chris onto his back. "Great," he echoes.

\----

Chris goes back to work the next day at the high school where they sometimes shoot to film Darren's last scene in this episode, and all goes fairly well.

Whenever Chris looks over at Darren giddily, he blames it on character bleed, and Darren doesn't give him away otherwise. In fact, Chris' new costar is fairly stoic between takes.

As much as he knows about Darren personally, and is getting to know his work style, it seems out of place on him, and thus, displaces Chris a little as well.

Fortunately, the stress helps Chris' performance, and they wrap the scene in only two takes, but Chris and Darren remain seated on the school steps to see if they're still needed to reshoot anything.

Despite the chaos of extras milling about and equipment clanging around, silence hangs between the two of them, and Darren's features stay etched with somberness while he hangs his head down and pointedly doesn't make eye contact with Chris.

"You're breaking up with me," Chris concludes quietly enough that only Darren can hear.

Darren shoots his head up. "What? No! I would never fuck around with you like that."

"Then, why are you acting so weird?"

Darren arches his brow. "Maybe because we shot a really intense scene, and I need some time to refocus?"

Chris arches one of his own.

"Really, it's nothing," Darren smiles at him, placing a hand on Chris' knee in reassurance, but then, Darren pulls his hand away, and clenches his fists as he stares out toward the crowd of people.

"I'm just glad I didn't have to deal with assholes like that in school," Darren continues. "I mean, people were dicks sometimes, but I could always brush it off. I never got hurt like that."

Chris goes quiet, reminders of the not-too-distant past haunting him.

The halls in which he has to film scenes of physical and verbal assault are not unlike the halls in which he grew up. Sure, there are blinding lights, makeup, and really tight clothing that Chris himself wouldn't have worn, but when he's in front of the camera, embodying Kurt, the hopelessness and loneliness he felt in high school returns, and sometimes, when the director calls _"cut,"_ the feelings linger.

A hand lands on Chris' knee; he recoils.

When Chris finally looks up, Darren tilts his head curiously.

"Hey," Darren tries, cautiously reaching out, "where'd you go?"

Then, the director, Bradley, approaches them before Chris can properly answer. "Okay, guys, we're done here."

"Alright," Darren suddenly snatches his hand away, as if he remembers where they are, and then, he spares one last worried glance at Chris.

But then Darren's smiling a second later, any trace of concern disappearing as he shakes hands with the director.

Chris runs off the set without another word, his heart beating rapidly.

\----

Chris tenses next to Darren on the ride back from the school to the studio lot, keeping his gaze downward, but he can't help looking over to Darren's hand, hovering in the tiny space between them.

Chris doesn't say anything, only clutches Darren's fingers tightly, and then, relaxes when Darren's thumb soothes over the back of Chris' hand.

Darren breaks his hold when the van reaches a halt at the lot, switching to a light touch on Chris' forearm as they step out. "I'm here, if you wanna talk," Darren quietly assures him.

Chris nods, collapsing onto the loveseat in his trailer after that, so that Darren can change and leave, before Chris has to head over there to get ready for the next few scenes.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, overwhelmed by the terrible slurs rushing through his head, and having to relive raw, private emotions evoked from them with millions of television viewers.

Before the story reaches them, however, Chris figures there is one person he should divulge his past to.

\----

A couple of days later, Chris wraps the episode and is tucked in Darren's embrace, while they're watching a movie on Darren's couch.

"So, the other day," Chris starts, his head against Darren's chest, "at work, I should tell you what happened."

"Hmm?" Darren's fingers brushes through Chris' bangs, and he kisses the top of Chris' head. "Oh, you don't have to, babe. It's alright."

"I know," Chris takes Darren's hand, "but it might help you understand me better."

Darren grabs the remote with his other hand and turns the volume down on the television. "Okay."

"Let's just say that some of Kurt's experiences are not that far off from my own. I wasn't quite as bold as Kurt, in terms of fashion, but I did stand out in other ways, so I was kind of a target for ridicule."

Darren's arm tightens around Chris' shoulders. "Oh, Chris. Were you--what happened?"

"Well, no one got near enough to kiss me, if that's what you mean. I think they didn't wanna catch the gay or something," Chris chuckles wryly.

"Baby," Darren squeezes Chris' hand, "you don't have to worry about them anymore. They're intolerant idiots."

"They still exist, Darren. They're easier to ignore now that I'm not anywhere near them, that's all."

"That's right. You're not. C'mere."

Chris quizzically turns his head toward Darren. "What?"

"Come closer." Darren gestures with their joined hands toward his lap. "Here."

Chris climbs onto him, a surge of heat running through him as their lower halves meet.

Darren frames Chris’ face with his hands. "That might be a part of who you are, but it’s not everything. You are so much more. I’m still getting to know you, but I think you’re a fucking amazing person, and I’m--I’m lucky to even be in the same room as you, let alone touch you," Darren’s thumb strokes Chris’ cheek, "and kiss you," his eyes flicker to Chris’ lips.

Chris blushes and looks down. “Then, why aren’t you kissing me right now?”

"Because I have more important things to deal with," Darren smiles, but pecks Chris' lips anyway. Tell me, Chris," he murmurs against Chris’ lips, "what made you stand out so much?"

"Um," Chris takes a deep breath, his brain fogging with Darren so close, "my voice, for one."

"I happen to really enjoy your voice," Darren’s hand trails down Chris’ neck, grazing the spot where his vocal chords lie. "It's so unique. What else?"

"I used to be chubby, and I’m still kind of soft. Even I don’t like that," Chris admits.

"Oh my God," Darren groans, playing with the hem of Chris’ shirt. "You’re human. Not very many people have rock hard abs and hulking arms. And you’re not chubby anymore, but even if you were, your body--It's not anything you should be ashamed of."

Chris' breath hitches as Darren's fingertips land on his bare stomach.

"Wh-why are you saying that, Dare? Because you've seen it?"

"Exactly, and I really, really appreciate it," Darren's broad palm sweeps across Chris' belly.

"Yeah?"

"Fuck, yes." Darren leans in, his breath hot in Chris' ear, "and as much as I'd love to tell you how much I appreciate your body, I'd rather show you."

Chris tenses a little, with Darren's fingers creeping under the waistband of Chris' sweats.

"Is this what you meant by more important things?" Chris wonders.

"No, but I kinda got distracted once you started talking about your body. I mean, I don't like you just because of this," Darren places a soft kiss at Chris' collarbone, "but it's definitely a plus."

"Really?"

"Mhmm." While one of Darren's hands clutches Chris' side, he kisses up Chris' neck. "I'm glad that I get to see you without all your layers."

"Are you," Chris can't help grinding against Darren's lap, "making fun of my scarf obsession?"

Darren freezes. "No, I didn't know it was an obsession. How many fucking scarves do you own?"

"Um, why are we still talking again? Why aren't you appreciating me?"

"That bad, huh?" Darren chuckles.

"Shut up and kiss me, Darren."

"Gladly."

Darren grins as their lips meet, all conversation of clothes, and anything else, forgotten.

\----

For the next few weeks, Chris continues on the show, while Darren plays some gigs and works with Starkid, until his next appearance on Glee.

Although they barely see each other with Chris' long days of filming, and then working on his writing projects after hours, their relationship continues to bloom.

However, doubt looms within Chris when they're back on set together at Dalton to film Kurt's transfer.

He watches Darren regale his fellow actors about his Michigan days, and then, Darren's playfully teasing one of the makeup people with a flirtatious smile.

Chris silently clenches his fists, and his chest tightens, as if someone's punching the breath out of him.

But, then, Darren sneaks a private gaze at him that makes Chris feel as giddy as the schoolboy he's playing, and that's enough, until Darren draws away again.

People always flock to Darren (why wouldn't they, with those warm, caring eyes, and generous grin?) and Darren can't resist giving them his full attention.

Chris loves that Darren can light up a room, but Chris wonders if he's really as special as Darren has told him, or if he's one in a long line of many who have gone weak in the knees at Darren's sweet nothings.

Darren has reassured him before that there's no one else, yet, how could there not be?

It has Chris on edge for a couple scenes, but luckily, it works for Kurt's Warbler audition.

Still, whenever Darren tries to engage him between setups, Chris shrugs him off.

While they're waiting for the lighting and camera guys to shift around, Darren pulls Chris aside by the front of Kurt's blazer.

"Hey, I thought we were okay. What's going on?"

When Chris hears the legitimate concern in Darren's voice, guilt twists inside of him for having such horrible assumptions, and ignoring Darren's attempts at conversation.

"I'll tell you later?"

However, Chris still can't assuage Darren's worries.

Not yet.

\----

"Are you gay?" Chris blurts out to Darren a couple days later, when they're cuddling on Chris' couch watching a movie.

Darren jerks his head up from where it had been resting on Chris' shoulder. "What?"

"I just," Chris fidgets uncomfortably, "need to know what kind of competition I'm dealing with."

"Chris, there's no competition. There's only you, okay?"

"You still didn't answer my question. I can't believe this hasn't come up before. Then again, you're into me, so I--"

"Baby, you're right. I am into you. I am so into you." Darren kisses him soundly. "Let's talk more about that." His lips graze Chris' jaw, until he's nibbling at Chris' earlobe. "Or, y'know, um, not talk?"

Darren trails his lips down Chris' neck.

"Unhh, Darren." Chris grips the back of Darren's head, and instinctively bares his neck for Darren's mouth, but then he remembers his concern. _"Darren._ Can we talk about this, please?"

"Y'know, this feels oddly like the last time we got to quietly hang out and you brought up something serious. Why can't we make out instead? I've missed you."

Chris groans as Darren mouths at the scar close to Chris' collarbone.

Darren looks up at him with a smirk. "You sure you still wanna chat?"

It's silly when Darren's gazing at him with hungry eyes and beautifully spit-slick lips, but jealousy nags at Chris, because he can't let anyone take this away from him.

"Kind of," Chris confesses. "I've seen you with her. The makeup assistant."

"Chris, what are you talking about?"

"Laughing and being all flirty."

"Flirty? I-- With Michelle? She broke up with her boyfriend last week. I figured I'd make her feel better for a little while," Darren shrugs nonchalantly.

"By charming her into your bed?"

 _The way you charmed me?_ Chris thinks.

"My bed? What? Chris, that's ridiculous! Why would I do that when I have you?"

Chris frowns. "But you don't yet."

Darren smooths out the crease in Chris' brow with his index finger. "What do you mean? Yes I do."

Chris still frowns. "I mean, we haven't done a whole lot, so if you're not gay, and you're flirting with _Michelle,_ it would explain some things."

"Chris, I don't have to be gay to like you. I don't have to define myself in that way if I don't want to. Michelle means nothing to me. I told you, there's no other woman, man, or anyone else. There's only you."

"But, we haven't had sex. I know I haven't trusted you like that yet, so it would make sense if--"

Darren sits up, his hand on Chris' thigh. "Oh, is that what this is about? It's only been about three months, and we've done _stuff,"_ Darren raises his eyebrows on the last word. "Some really good stuff, actually. I want you to be ready for whatever else that we do, and I'm not gonna fuck some makeup assistant in the interim, okay?"

"Okay," Chris sighs and looks down.

Darren grabs Chris' face.

"Chris, look at me. Do you trust me?"

When Chris does, Darren's eyes shine brightly with something Chris isn't sure he's ready to name yet, so he nods, and answers in a low voice, "More than anyone."

Darren smiles. "Good. I'm sorry if I ever make you question that."

Chris' brow furrows. "What do you--?"

But before Chris can finish, he's flat on his back and Darren's lips slam harshly into his own.

"I promise you, I would never," Darren breaks off before kissing him again on the lips, "purposely," and then on the cheek, "do anything," and finally on the corner of Chris' jaw, near his ear, "to hurt you. That includes hooking up with someone, or anything else for that matter, alright?"

Darren's voice is laced with such ferocity that it makes Chris wonder what lies beneath his words.

"Dare, is there something else you wanna tell me?"

Darren tenses above him for a second, and mumbles into Chris' shoulder, "Wha-? I care about you so much, and I wouldn't--"

Darren stops and roughly kisses Chris again, biting Chris' bottom lip so hard that Chris hisses, the pain _(pleasure)_ shooting straight to Chris' groin.

"Sorry, I got a little carried away," Darren apologizes, soothing his tongue over the offended spot.

"It's okay. I-I liked it."

Chris kisses back and presses his whole body to Darren's own.

Darren sighs into it, and then pulls back to slide down between Chris' legs, and tugs at the waistband of Chris' sweats.

"Lemme?" Darren looks up at him with wild eyes.

"Yeah, but you don't need to-- _ohhh,"_ Chris moans when Darren mouths over his clothed cock.

"But I'm gonna," Darren breathes, his amber gaze peeking up at Chris through hooded lashes.

Of course, Chris doesn't complain.

As he pulls Chris' pants down, Darren mutters, "Doesn't matter. Shouldn't matter."

Darren wraps his hand around the base of Chris' cock, and sucks at the head.

"Unhh, Dare."

Chris grabs at Darren's curls, which only makes Darren suck harder.

He takes Chris in a little more, and then even further, until he can't anymore and his hand covers what he can't reach.

Darren pulls back and pushes forward, his head bobbing rhythmically as he sucks Chris off in earnest.

Chris starts to quiver not long after Darren palms himself with his other hand.

"Oh God, I'm gonna--" Chris tries to warn Darren by pinching his hip, but Darren doesn't budge.

When Darren meets his eyes with a heated, determined stare, Chris lets go, spilling into Darren's mouth.

Darren sucks him through it, continuing through the aftershocks until Chris' body stills.

Then, Darren pops off of him lewdly, wipes his own mouth, and slips his own sweatpants down, his erection springing free.

 _"This_ is what you do to me, okay?" Darren desperately confesses as he works himself over. "No one else. Only you."

Darren scoots forward a little, so Chris can see his pleading face, and his leaking cock.

Chris' own dick twinges with oversensitivity while he watches Darren in awe, unsure of which place he should focus his attention.

He settles on Darren's face, just as Darren releases over his fist, and Chris' rucked-up shirt.

"Chris," Darren practically whispers once he finishes.

Darren drags his hand over Chris' shirt up to his heart, and kisses Chris' mouth with such a tenderness that belies Darren's earlier frantic words and actions.

Darren's other hand strokes Chris' cheek as he catches his breath and kisses Chris' neck.

"Now, do you believe me?" Darren asks with a kiss to Chris' jaw.

"Mmm. I'm sorry. I--It's hard for me to believe that anyone like you could be into someone like me," Chris admits, still feeling loose after his orgasm.

"What do you mean?" Darren laughs, his socked foot grazing Chris' ankle.

"Do you really need me to spell it out for you?"

Darren takes Chris' hand in one of his. "Uh, maybe."

Chris rolls his eyes as their fingers twine together. "Like you don't know. You're, um, kind of beautiful."

"Only kind of?"

"Now you're fishing, Dare."

"You caught me," Darren chuckles. "It's nice to hear praise, though, especially from you. You're kinda beautiful, too."

Chris snorts.

"You still don't believe me? What else do I have to do, Chris?"

"Hmm," Chris mulls it over.

Darren moves his hand from where it lay on Chris' chest to a little further down to the hem of Chris' shirt. "First, I think we should get rid of this, yeah?"

"If that's what you recommend," Chris hums.

"Totally." Darren peels Chris' shirt off, and then his own.

"And now that you've had time to recover," Darren continues, "I'd like to return to my previous activities."

He crawls down Chris' body again, sinking his mouth over Chris' cock.

"Oh," Chris twitches in shock. "Okay. S-sounds good."

"Good," Darren pulls off and grins before diving down again.

\----

Their relationship _is_ good, so good that for the next week or so, Chris floats between work, and Darren's place, the latter of which he spends much more time at than his own home.

Working, and playing, with Darren feels like a fantasy, rather than the nightmare Chris thought it would be. The friendships he had gained since Glee were a refreshing change from the loneliness that plagued his life before, but those don't even come close to what Darren has given him over the last few months.

Darren cracks open Chris' whole world in such terrifyingly wonderful ways that Chris wonders how he'll feel when this thing with Darren ends, because it has to; it seems too great to be real.

So, Chris waits with the underlying fear of whatever will ultimately break them apart.

With all these thoughts running through his head, Chris sits on the Dalton set, tapping his foot against a table leg, when Darren's suddenly in front of him, studying Chris' face seriously.

It doesn't help Chris' anxiety.

"Merry Christmas!" Darren plasters on a smile when he notices Chris gazing back.

"It's not actually Christmas, Dare."

"Well, no," Darren covers Chris' hand with his own on top of the table, "but we kinda have to get into the spirit since we're filming a classic holiday duet today."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Darren clears his throat, "Why wouldn't it be? We're basically getting paid to flirt with each other, Chris. I'd do that for free. Hell, I do do that for free. We both know how good I am at it."

"I am _not_ inflating your ego anymore."

"Good. You shouldn't," Darren replies, squeezing Chris' hand, and then pulling away. "Let's go to work, _baby."_

Chris raises an eyebrow.

"What? It's in the song, Chris," Darren tries playfully, but his tone still seems off somehow.

"Are you sure something's not wrong?" Chris needs to ask.

Alarm crosses Darren's face. "No, nothing's wrong. Why?"

" 'Cause you're acting really weird."

Darren's brow scrunches together as he opens his mouth to speak, but the director shouts for them to take their places.

Darren walks away, picking up the boom box for the scene.

He strides over to Chris _(Kurt)_

in full Blaine mode, but he flubs his first line.

The director reassures Darren and tells him to try again.

Darren shakes his head, walks back to his mark, and then back over to Chris. After he sets the boom box down, he stares at Chris with wide eyes, and curses under his breath.

Someone snaps the clapboard to cut the scene.

"You need a minute, Darren?" a production assistant calls.

"No, let's do this."

Chris cuts in, "I can get the script supervisor if--"

"I got it," Darren uncharacteristically snaps.

After a couple more mistakes and pauses to fix hair and makeup, they wrap up the dialogue, and then cut right before the music has to start.

"What's going on, Darren?" Chris wonders.

"I fucked up," Darren sighs.

"It worked out fine, Dare. Everyone screws up their lines sometimes."

"No, I--it's not that. I need to tell you something."

Chris feels like he's about to faint, and dread wells up inside him. "Oh, my God. If you're going to break up with me, can you at least wait until after we film this scene?"

"It's not that, I swear, Chris," but Chris can tell by the anguish written all over Darren's face that whatever he is going to say isn't anything positive. "Can we get back to work?"

"Yeah," Chris pauses to gather himself before someone cues the music.

He transitions to Kurt easily as he sings his first line, while smiling at his crush Blaine.

For his part, Blaine flirts back, Darren's lower register blaring through the speakers.

They shuffle around the room for the rest of the number, playing their parts perfectly.

They end on the couch, shyly grinning, like they're supposed to.

The music drops off, and the director tells them it was alright, but they need to film it again to do some closeup shots.

They take the positions they're told, and Chris acts like his lovestruck teenage counterpart; Darren plays along as well, though Chris can feel the tension sparking between them.

They run through the number, pretending to tease each other, and once it's over, they drop the false smiles.

The director congratulates them on a job well done, Darren shaking his hand, the phony grin back in place for a second before he walks off.

Chris wants to follow him, but he has another scene to film, sans Darren.

All Chris can do is worry and wait.

\----

About twenty minutes later, Chris finds Darren sitting on a couch in a trailer offset.

"Are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on, Darren?"

Darren stares into space, a faraway look in his eyes. "I'm so fucking sorry, Chris."

"You're scaring me."

Darren gently taps the cushion next to him. "Sit with me?"

Chris obliges, though unease twists through him.

Darren clutches Chris' hand. "I haven't been completely honest with you. Please don't hate me."

Chris looks down at their hands, and then up at Darren's beautiful, but distressed, face. "That depends on what you're about to tell me."

"I knew about you, and the show, before I met you. I actually auditioned for the pilot."

"You _what?"_ Chris steals his hand out of Darren's grasp. "Why would you lie like that?"

"Because it hurt too much when I didn't get the part, and I didn't want to be reminded of my failure. I knew the part wasn't right, but--"

"You could have come clean the minute we stepped out of Ryan's office."

"I know. I should have, but I wasn't intentionally misleading you. I knew of the show, and that it was taking off, and that you and your character were something special. But I really, really couldn't watch most of your stuff until after I was cast, until I knew I'd get to experience this after all."

Chris slides away from Darren. "So, was it your plan all along to screw around with me, and then get on the show somehow?" Chris snorts derisively. "Are you really some creepy stalker who happens to be talented enough to worm your way here?"

Darren scoots over to Chris, their knees touching, and cautiously lays his hand over Chris' kneecap.

"Baby," Darren implores, "I swear, that's not true. That's exactly what I _didn't_ want you to think. This job is not more important to me than you are.",/p >

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Why does it matter what I knew, and when? I didn't tell anyone about us, so I wasn't using you to get this part. I didn't think--"

Chris stands up. "No, Darren. You didn't think. You hid the truth from me, all the while espousing honesty."

"Chris, wait. Don't go."

He sits back down, leaving as much space as he can between them. "Why shouldn't I?"

"Because, I know what I did was shitty," Darren sighs, rubbing at the back of his neck, "but I've been honest about everything else, especially my feelings for you."

"I knew it," Chris says, more to himself than to Darren. "I knew it was too good to be true."

"It's not. I really do care about you. I just wasn't thinking."

Chris rises again, stalking down the steps toward the door. "That much is obvious."

"I'm an idiot, Chris. I fucked up, okay? But that doesn't mean I don't care."

Chris has difficulty not relenting to Darren right there, when he can hear the slight tremor in Darren's voice and the unsteady beat of Darren's heart in his chest.

But Chris can't absolve him yet, not when Darren had so many opportunities to do that himself.

"We should get back. They'll have to drive us to the lot soon," Chris says blankly, looking past Darren.

"Yeah, yeah." Darren reaches for Chris' hand, but stops. "I'll go first. You follow in a little bit?"

"Sure," Chris nods.

Darren brushes past Chris, the door crashing in his wake.

Chris jumps at the noise, but quickly shakes it off, and collapses onto the sofa, his heart sinking, and his faith in Darren broken.

Of course, the pedestal that Chris had put Darren on was bound to tumble; Darren's only a human who makes mistakes, but how can Chris know who to trust after this?

How can he continue a relationship with someone who can't tell the whole truth, even when blatantly asked?,/p>

Suddenly, Chris is glad that the show is going on hiatus so he can figure out how to handle the mess that Darren left him.

\----

Once they're on the Hollywood lot and changed into their own clothes, they walk back to their respective cars, together but silently, until Darren sighs.

"C'mon, ba--Chris. Please. I don't wanna leave it like this."

"I listened to what you had to say. Now I need time to process it," Chris answers, without even sparing Darren a glance, "unless you have more secrets to tell me?"

"No. I promise. I'm through with keeping things from you."

They stop at Chris' car, Darren tentatively touching Chris' bicep.

Chris looks down at his arm, and then up at Darren's earnest face.

"I guess if you need time," Darren tells him, "I'll give it to you. I'll give you anything you need, but I am doing a show at The Roxy next month, so hopefully you can make up your mind by then?"

"Yeah. I--Yeah."

"Bye, Chris."

Darren's hand drops away, and the absence of his touch already feels wrong, as does Darren’s small, crooked smile that doesn't meet his eyes.

"Bye, Darren. I--"

Chris wants to say more, wants to go home with Darren and forget that this day happened, but he can't pretend everything's okay when it's not.

Instead, he watches Darren retreat to his car and drive away.

\----

True to his word, Darren doesn't talk to Chris very much over the next week, except to text, _"I'm sorry,"_ late one night.

"I'm sorry, too," Chris sighs into his pillow.

\----

Ashley grills Chris over lunch the next day.

"So, spill it. How's the boy? Have you hit that yet, or has _he?"_

"Not exactly," Chris blushes, sliding one of his fries through the remaining dregs of ketchup on his plate.

"But you've gone _places,_ haven't you?"

Chris nods, his stomach dropping when he remembers how long it's been since Darren has touched him, or kissed him, and why he's barely seen Darren lately.

Ashley reaches for one of Chris' hands across the table. "Honey, that's a good thing, so why do you look a million times paler?"

"I haven't really spoken to him much since the show went on a break."

Ashley squeezes his hand. "What happened? I thought things were good."

"They were, until he lied to me. When we went on our first date, he told me he knew nothing about Glee, and that he had no idea who I was, which I figured didn't make any sense, even though he _insisted_ he was telling the truth. Turns out, he wasn't, after all."

"Oh, Chris. Why do you think he'd do that?"

"I don't know, Ash, because my track record with dating sucks, and why should that change?" Chris sighs. "I don't know what to do."

"Well, you totally have the right to let him wallow for a while. That is kind of shady."

"I know. I've been doing that, but do you think this is as important as I'm making it out to be? Should I just let it go?"

"Hmm," Ashley pauses to sip on her milkshake. "Maybe you should put it in perspective? He didn't tell you he was an escaped convict, or that he's your long-lost brother, or anything like that."

"It could be the former," Chris finally bites into a fry. "You know how charming Darren is."

"That's probably more likely to happen to me than you, babe."

"Maybe," Chris laughs. "I don't think he was being malicious, Ash. I really like him, and I've trusted him in ways I've never trusted anyone else, y'know?"

"Huh. Sounds like you already know what you want."

"Him," Chris answers, despite himself. "I want him."

"Then, go get 'im, hon."

Chris considers her encouragement, a plan forming in his head.

\----

With bated breath, Chris messages Darren a few days later.

_Can I come over?_

Chris gets up from his bed and paces the floor while he waits for Darren's reply.

Then, his phone beeps.

_Sure. Roommates are gone, jsyk._

In any other situation, Chris would flirt with him, but instead he simply responds:

_Okay. See you soon._

\----

Chris races over as fast as he can, given the late afternoon traffic, and lightly raps on the door twice.

 _"Chris,"_ Darren breathes out when he opens it with an expectant look on his face. "I'm glad you're here. I'm so sorry I--"

"I'm sorry, too. Let me in?"

"Of course. Always." Darren allows him entry, and shuts the door. "Does this mean you're coming to my show?"

"Yeah, I'd love to. Talk first?"

"Sure."

They settle on Darren's couch, but not too close to each other.

"You shouldn't have lied to me," Chris starts, clasping his hands together. "I shouldn't have treated you that way, though."

"Yeah, you should have. I mean, in the industry we're in," Darren rubs at the back of his neck, "and in life, it's hard to know--"

"I've had enough experience with people hurting me, Darren," Chris admits. "I don't think that was what you meant to do."

Darren tentatively holds his hand out to Chris, but he doesn't touch him. "No, it wasn't."

Chris gives in, and takes Darren's hand. "I understand that, and I'm so ready to move on from what happened."

"Me, too," Darren looks down at where they're joined. "That's all I want, Chris."

"Really? Is that all?"

"Yeah," Darren replies slowly. "I don't--"

Chris cuts him off, boldly leaning in to kiss Darren. "I want you. I wanna be with you," he confesses when they part.

"I want that, too, Chris," Darren agrees, his other hand curving over Chris' hip.

Chris kisses him again, harder this time. "Take me to bed?"

"Yeah. Okay. Let's go."

They walk to Darren's bedroom in silence, and then lay down together, Chris flat on his back while Darren curls around him.

"When I said 'take me to bed,'" Chris remarks, "this is not what I meant."

"Mmm, cuddling's nice, though, yeah?" Darren murmurs, resting his head on Chris' chest.

"Dare?"

"Hmm?" Darren sits up and grins wickedly. "What'd you mean, then, babe?"

"I want to have sex with you."

"Oh, um, okay," Darren gulps, his honey eyes darkening. "You sure?"

With shaking fingers, Chris pulls Darren closer by the front of his shirt. "Yes. I want you to fuck me, Darren."

Darren licks his lips, mouth dangerously close to Chris’ own. “Have you, uh, ever been with anyone like that before?" 

"No, only with myself a few times, but I've been thinking of you lately, whenever I do," Chris feels brave enough to confess to Darren, thinking back to the last time he orgasmed, alone in his bed, with Darren's name on his lips.

Then, he notices Darren's gaze burning through him, like their first day on set together, except this time, it lingers. "You--Shit. You really want me to?" is all Darren can say, with a dumbfounded expression.

When Chris nods, Darren straddles him, and kisses him deeply, his tongue sliding into Chris’ mouth.

"Do you have any...?" Chris trails off, hoping Darren understands.

"Yeah, of course. I mean, yeah," Darren laughs. "Please, can I, um--?" Darren's fingers cautiously brush against Chris' stomach.

"Yes," Chris breathes.

Darren slips Chris' shirt off, and then his own.

"Chris," Darren whispers almost reverently, stroking his thumb over Chris' cheek.

Chris heats up all over, especially where the rough hair of Darren's bare torso presses against his own.

Chris parts his legs just a bit, so that he can feel Darren half-hard against him, and it's already too much and not enough all at once.

"Darren," Chris whispers, clutching him close.

Darren kisses him in response while stretching one arm toward his nightstand. "I got you."

There's a small thump at their sides as Darren undoes Chris' fly, and Chris lifts his hips to shift out of his pants and briefs.

Darren wraps a hand over Chris' dick. "So fucking eager," Darren laughs as he kisses Chris' neck. "I know the feeling."

"Oh, ohh," is the only sound that Chris can utter, as all the blood rushes from his brain to where Darren expertly strokes him.

"Wait, wait," Chris interjects.

"You okay?" Darren pauses to study Chris' face. "Do you really want--?"

"Yeah. I just need a minute."

"Alright. Whatever you need, Chris." He kisses Chris' mouth, slowly making his way over to Chris' ear, and then down his neck. "It's okay."

"It's okay," Darren repeats, working his hand over Chris' dick again, and trailing his lips down Chris' chest.

Chris' whole body feels alight, as if the spark he felt when he met Darren is finally set on fire. "Oh, my God. I need you."

"You got me," Darren reassures, mouthing at the skin right below Chris' belly button.

Then, Darren's hand falls to Chris' thigh, and he pulls his mouth away, pointedly avoiding Chris' erection.

"Lift your legs up, babe," Darren softly commands, his breath hitting the base of Chris' cock.

Chris obliges him, planting his feet flat and bending his knees, much like the last time Darren had been between his legs.

"Yeah. That's it," Darren encourages, voice full of awe as his eyes trail down to where Chris is exposed. "Fuck. You're so--"

Darren circles a finger around Chris' asshole. "Wow. I'm the only one?" Darren wonders, more to himself than Chris.

But Chris answers brokenly, "Li-like this, yes."

Darren leans down, caressing Chris' cheek. "I'll take care of you, Chris, okay?"

Chris doesn't know how to respond, except to pour out all his affection into a kiss against Darren's smiling mouth.

Then, Darren pulls away to work his hand into his own pants, affording Chris a delicious, teasing view of Darren's fist jerking at the base.

Chris' mouth drops open, the urge building inside him to shove Darren's jeans aside and bury that undoubtedly lovely cock down his throat, all the way to that dark thatch of hair currently peeking out from Darren's open fly.

But, there are other plans for tonight.

"Dare," Chris says it so low he's not sure that Darren even hears.

Somehow, Darren does, though, his erection springing free as he finally wriggles out of his jeans.

Chris studies the thickness of Darren's cock and the rosy blush of it when Darren reaches over him, all coherent thought escaping him other than wow, that's going to be inside me soon.

Chris' dick stirs as Darren settles over him.

"Hey," Darren grins.

"Hi," Chris chuckles, letting out a low grunt when their cocks slot together.

"Unhh. Gonna open you up now, yeah?"

"Mmm," Chris hums in reply.

Darren slides down his body, and suddenly, there's a slight, wet pressure at Chris' hole that slowly starts to work inside him, little by little, making Chris tense up when that spot inside him is barely touched.

"It's okay. Relax," Darren assuages him, crooking his finger minutely and quickly kissing the intimate curve of Chris' knee.

Darren pulls out and adds another digit. "Fuck, you're so tight."

Chris sucks in a breath as Darren starts moving again, the only sounds their breathing and the squelch of Darren’s fingers inside him.

Darren inserts another finger beside the other two, and it already feels so full that Chris can't even imagine how anything else can possibly fit.

After several strokes, Darren hits that spot again, and Chris cries out, pushing back onto Darren's fingers.

"Oh my God, just fuck me, Dare."

"I will," Darren promises, voice gruffer than Chris has ever heard before.

Chris groans after Darren pulls out, leaving him empty, but he looks at Chris with a sweet smile that compliments the fire in his whiskey eyes, and contradicts the obscene movement of his hand on his own dick.

"I've got you," Darren tells him as he grabs the condom and rips it open with his teeth in such a practiced movement that Chris doesn't want to consider right now.

Then, Darren's suddenly pushing inside him, letting out a quiet, _"oh,"_ as he grips Chris' hips and presses in to the hilt.

Darren stops, breathing heavily and catching Chris' gaze, with a smile so big that his face can barely contain it, but then it morphs into something so private and beautiful it makes Chris' heart ache. "Hi. How ya doin', babe?"

"I'm okay. Full. Can you, um, move?" Chris asks quietly. "Please."

Darren brushes a stray lock off Chris' forehead and kisses him tenderly. "I--yeah."

When Darren pulls back, Chris swears there's a wetness brushing against his cheeks, and he's fairly certain that it isn't his own.

"Are you okay, Dare?" he wonders with a grunt as Darren starts to move.

"Yeah. Never better. Unhh, fuck. You’re so," he pulls almost fully out, “fucking,” and then slams back in, “beautiful,” a couple more rough thrusts, and he builds a rhythm. Darren’s silent after that, save for a few heavy exhales as he buries his face in the crook of Chris’ neck.

Instead of refuting it or bouncing back with a witty retort, like he usually would, Chris says low in his ear, "Show me. Touch me."

Darren doesn’t miss a beat, thrusting in time with the jerk of his hand on Chris’ cock.

"Mmm, Darren," he scratches down Darren’s spine, digging his nails in deep at the small of Darren's back, "look at me."

Darren's eyes shine brightly. "Chris, I--"

But Chris isn't sure if he's ready to hear whatever Darren's words might be, so he swallows them with a kiss, and after one more thrust, Chris spills over and bites Darren's lip.

Darren strokes him through it, and quietly fucks into Chris' spent body, until he comes, too, Chris' name falling from his lips.

A few deep breaths, and then Darren pulls out with, "Shit. That was..."

"Yeah, I know," Chris finishes, kissing Darren's shoulder.

"I--" Darren starts and kisses the scar on Chris' neck. "I don't wanna fuck this up again, but I don't wanna promise anything if I can't--"

"Shh," Chris pets Darren's hair, and turns Darren's cheek, so they're face-to-face. "Just, don't lie to me again, alright?"

Darren silently nods and kisses him. "No matter what happens, Chris. I swear." Darren seals it with another kiss.

"I--" Chris starts, the blatant honesty in Darren's voice causing Chris' heart to leap, as those three important words that would utterly change their relationship forever linger on his tongue, but Chris stops himself.

Maybe, lying here, with Darren in his arms, is enough for now. He just got Darren back, and if he takes this step, it could shatter everything they worked to rebuild only hours before. "I believe you," Chris finishes instead.

"G--good, because you," Darren cups Chris' face and kisses him on the cheek, "matter so much to me, and I can't lose you because of something stupid."

Darren's lips brush over Chris' heart as he rolls off of him and tosses the condom somewhere on the floor.

"Well, don't be stupid, then," Chris chuckles, shivering at the touch.

"Like I said, I'm not sure I can do that. I'm kind of an idiot."

"Can you at least help me get clean, Darren 'Idiot' Criss?"

Darren turns on his side, draping an arm over Chris' chest and tangling a leg with one of Chris'. "My middle name's Everett, but close enough, and I don't feel like moving yet. I wanna stay here, with you."

"But, we're disgusting."

Darren sighs, twisting around to gather a few tissues. "Sorry, babe. Sometimes, sex is disgusting."

"Maybe I'll come on you next time," Chris retorts while Darren wipes down Chris' stomach.

Darren's hand stills, his palm pressing below Chris' belly button as he looks at Chris darkly and then kisses his open mouth.

"Is that, like, a thing for you?" Chris wonders breathlessly when they part, tracing the side of Darren's face.

"Maybe. Maybe, _you're,"_ he taps Chris' nose, "a thing for me."

"Oh, God," Chris groans.

"You're fucking adorable, y'know." Darren kisses Chris on the cheek.

After a brief silence, Darren asks seriously, "So, we're okay again?"

"Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't be here if we weren't."

"Fuck, I-- you're so amazing."

"Don't ever forget it," Chris laughs.

Darren leans in to press their foreheads together. "I won't. That is something I _can_ promise."

\----

Soon after that, they watch the Glee Christmas episode together, and Darren stiffens in Chris' arms when their duet airs.

"It's not like that anymore. You owned up to your mistake. We're good now, remember?" Chris reminds him with a kiss to the temple.

"Yeah, we are," Darren sits up straighter, smiles at Chris brightly, and starts to sing along with his onscreen counterpart in Chris' ear.

_"Mind if I move in closer?"_

Chris rolls his eyes, but joins in anyway.

_"At least I'm gonna say that I tried."_

They trade off a couple more lines and sing the chorus together.

_"Oh, baby, it's cold outside."_

Then, Darren stops, and pulls Chris in for a kiss. 

"That's how our duet should've ended," Chris blurts out against Darren's lips.

"Merry Christmas, _baby,"_ Darren chuckles.

"It still isn't Christmas, Dare."

"Shut up and lemme kiss you some more."

Before Chris can even reply, Darren's mouth is on his again as their recorded voices sing on the background.

Whether or not Darren is with him, it certainly will be a merrier Christmas this year.

\----

About two weeks later, Chris feels even more festive when he attends Darren's show at The Roxy.

Chris stands near the front, right next to a huge amp, alone, in a sea of mostly teenage girls, some wearing pink sunglasses or Starkid shirts.

He startles when a familiar voice speaks in his ear.

"Hey, whatcha doin' out here?"

Chris spins in shock. "Darren! You scared me."

Darren takes his hand and smiles shyly. "C'mon. Come with me."

Suddenly, Darren drags Chris backstage. "You could've asked me to take you here, y'know," Darren tells him, "instead of sneaking in with the crowd, you little fanboy."

"Sorry, I wanted to surprise you," Chris blushes.

"It's okay. It's kinda cute, really."

After looking around quickly, Darren pecks him on the cheek.

Chris sighs happily. "Thanks. I wouldn't miss it."

"Well, of course, my boyfriend wouldn't miss my last show before Christmas."

"Your _what?"_ Chris blinks.

"My last show before Christmas," Darren repeats.

Chris raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, you mean, the other thing." Darren cups Chris' cheek. "We're totally in that place, right? It's been almost four months, and neither of us are dating anyone else."

"Y--yes," Chris stammers.

Darren seals the confirmation with a quick kiss. "Okay. Good."

Chris kisses him back a little deeper, hooking his finger under one of Darren's suspender straps, until Darren pulls back with a groan.

"Fuck, I have a show to do. Can you hold that thought?"

"Fine," Chris murmurs, but kisses him briefly once more. "but I'd like to go back to the audience and enjoy the show, then. See ya soon, yeah?"

"Yup. I--I have to go," Darren says as his eyes trail down to Chris' lips.

They stand there for a few moments, and then Chris clears his throat.

"So? Go."

"Right, right," Darren answers but doesn't move. "Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're here," Darren grins with a fleeting featherlight touch of his fingertips to Chris' cheek.

"Me, too. Now, go, so I can fanboy in peace," Chris jokes.

"Oh, alright," he begrudgingly replies. "Come home with me after, though?"

"Why, Darren Criss, that's quite forward of you. Are you hitting on one of your fans now?"

Darren draws their bodies together. "You wanna play it like that, huh?"

"Maybe," Chris utters breathlessly.

"I know we only just met," Darren plays along, his hand landing on the crook of Chris' neck, "but I can tell that we have chemistry, so how about we explore that later?"

"After your show, Darren. _After,"_ Chris scolds as Darren noses along his collar.

"Right. The show. If this wasn't a charity benefit, I'd say 'fuck the show,' and take you home right now," he punctuates with a squeeze to Chris' hips.

"But it is, and you're a nice person. You can make it up to me later," Chris whispers in his ear.

" 'Kay," Darren breathes against his neck.

Then, they jump apart when someone shouts for Darren to get on stage.

"Shit. I really do have to go. Enjoy the show, babe."

"I will," Chris tells him earnestly right before Darren runs off.

\----

Chris' breath catches when Darren and the backing band begin playing very familiar notes of a song that's now a staple at every one of Darren's shows.

_"You think I'm pretty without any makeup on, you think I'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong..."_

Chris' mind retreats back to that late summer day when he first heard Darren sing this song, softer and slower, the world narrowing to nothing but Darren, as it is now.

The roaring crowd fades away until all Chris can hear is the fierceness in Darren's voice and the almost cacophonous slam of his fingers over the keys.

This, along with the sweat dripping down Darren's face, reminds Chris of the intensity with which Darren approaches his work and his relationships; he fights so hard to keep what he's been blessed to get, and yeah, maybe he messes up, but he always tries to make it right.

Chris realizes how lucky he is to have that kind of person in his life.

As Darren sings, _"Don't ever look back,"_ Chris can't help doing exactly that, recalling the first time Darren smiled at him, all bright eyes and bushy hair, making Chris' heart skip, the easy rapport they had built on their first date, the first time Darren had kissed him, and then, more recently, the first time they had sex.

All these firsts were pretty amazing, but there are so many more experiences he'll hopefully share with Darren.

So maybe Chris won't look back too much, especially not on the brief heartbreak, but ahead to all the good memories they'll create.

He can hardly wait.


End file.
